Five Overrated Things

1. Atlanta

"Hotlanta," the so-called "capital of the New South," has got to be the least interesting city ever to host the Summer Olympics. Oh sure, the World of Coca-Cola is fun, but I've got a sneaking suspicion that Beijing, Athens, and even Sydney have at least 100 times as much to offer the world. It's not a bad place, but there are easily 40 other cities in America that are just as cool.

2. Lettuce

I don't think anybody really rates lettuce all that high to begin with, but why is it so ubiquitous in sandwiches and burgers? A burger is savory, full of salt, fat, and hearty meatybreadiness. What's that leaf of crunchy water doing there? Stay in a salad where you belong, lettuce.

3. Jenna Jameson

Is she the sexiest porn star? No. The most beautiful? No. So why does she get crowned the "Queen of Porn" and get mentioned every time anybody talks about porn becoming "mainstream?" She's just the best self-promoter in the industry, that's all. I think the point is supposed to be to watch somebody who looks like they want to have sex rather than somebody who looks like they want to be sure they're in the next clip about the Viper Room on Entertainment Tonight.

4. Slot Machines

I was in Las Vegas in Monday and had a card for a free $10.00 of slot play. Seriously, it would have been more intellectually challenging to spend that time watching the Home Shopping Network. How did these things get to be so popular that they're the backbone of the gambling industry? It takes all of five minutes to at least learn how to play Video Poker or Blackjack. Speaking of which, why is Video Blackjack so hard to find? And real Video Blackjack machines that allow you to split, double down, etc. even harder to find?

5. The Today Show

You get a little bit of news followed by pasta recipes, interviews with reality show contestants, and morons holding signs in Times Square. Why is this granted any more respect than the idiotic car chase-obsessed local TV news here in L.A.? At least the teenagers waving at the cameras and screaming on TRL have the excuse of being teenagers; what's the excuse of the grown adults on this show? And Katie Couric is going from this to filling the seat once held by Walter Cronkite and Dan Rather?