Top 20 Democratic Candidates

Monday I noted that I could think of reasons why the top 3 candidates of either party wouldn't win*. John Moe of McSweeney's has me beat by listing pros and cons of the top 20 Democratic candidates, including a few you probably hadn't considered.

*For the record:

• Hillary: Lots of people intensely dislike her. Seems phony.
• Obama: Seems vaguely foreign. Maybe too far left.
• Edwards: Nice, but seems kinda like a lawyer.
• McCain: Lost credibility as a maverick when he became Bush's big supporter.
• Romney: Flip-flopping Mormon from Massachusetts.
• Giuliani: Not going to make a lot of friends in the Bible Belt.

Dark horse bonuses:

• Richardson: Has substance, but lacks top-of-the-ticket charisma.
• Gore: Not running. Polarizing. When he acts natural, he seems like he's following a consultant's advice to "act natural."
• Newt Gingrich: I don't think Republicans realize how unlikable this guy is to the general populace.
• Fred Thompson: Seems like the poor man's Ronald Reagan, a desperate ploy by conservatives unhappy with the choices they've got.

Nevertheless, of course, somebody's going to win.